Who hasn't had divorce touch their lives, either personally divorced or a close family member? Though I have never been divorced, a sibling has. It seems like only yesterday, divorce was rare. Now when you go to a high school graduation, every student crossing the stage is listed as "the child of Mr. and Mrs. John Smith and Ms. Jane Doe." Divorce touches everyone.
While God doesn't like divorce, it still happens. It may have happened to you. If you are reading beyond this point, I will assume that is the case.
Divorce makes a void in your life. You used to have someone there, right beside you. She's gone. You lie alone on your bed at night asking yourself how you got to this point? What could you have done differently to prevent the situation? Even if you were the one who started divorce proceedings, you may be asking those questions.
You want to do things differently, but you don't know how. Some of your friends try to laugh it off, maybe even the divorced ones. But you need real solutions, not a few one liners. You're hurting and need help.
The Biblical Solution
What does the Bible say about divorce? Malachi 2:16 says that God hates divorce. Have you ever asked why? God hates it because of the damage it does to people. What had been one is split in two. That hurts. God does not want people torn apart by divorce. Even if the reason was scripturally approved, the divorce cuts deeply. But just because divorce is bad doesn't mean that you are bad. God still loves you and has a plan to repair you.
Deal with anger
Some of your anger may be justified, but it is still consuming you. You poured years into this marriage, and it's over just like that? Or maybe you know that you were the cause of the divorce and are mad at yourself? Either way, you have to forgive yourself and your former spouse (Colossians 3:13). Anger gets you nowhere (James 1:19, 20). It hurts you more than it hurts anyone else.
Recognize that you have anger and give it to God. Give it to Him every time you feel your temper flare.
Deal with bitterness
Given time, anger becomes bitterness. You blame everything on the other person. Even what you know was your part and parcel of the divorce, in your bitterness, you attribute it to your former spouse. God commands us to put away every kind of bitterness (Ephesians 4:31). That means you have to admit to being bitter and consciously decide to make a change.
As long as you have this bitterness, you cannot show God's grace to other people (James 3:11). If not for your sake, get rid of it for their sake.
Life Application
Where do you go from here? Going it alone hurts too much. You need help. Many churches have divorce recovery groups. Another option would be a divorce recovery group from outside the church, though you still want a Christian group. They will help you heal the spiritual and emotional scars of divorce.
Yes, you can get through this. It won't be easy or quick, but you can recover, recuperate, and live again.
Additional Resources
Christian Divorce Recovery www.walkingthechristianlife.com/
Divorce: A Christian Response www.sowingseedsoffaith.com/divorce1.htm
Healing the Grief of Divorce www.cwlinc.com/ls.divorce-recovery.htm
Fresh Start Seminars www.freshstartseminars.com
Christian Counseling Degree www.christiancounselingdegree.org/divorce