- Opening and Closing the Gate
- Do You Know What Your Kids Are Watching?
- How do you create a Christ-centered home?
- His Role and its Duties
- Men God Wants
- The Role of Friendship in Marriage
- Fathers who interact with children plant life-changing seeds
- Fatherhood isn't for Sissies
- How to Catch a Redhead!
- No Quantity, No Quality
- Do You Know What Your Kids Are Watching?
- Fatherhood
- Anytime, Anywhere, Anyone
- Rites of Passage for Your Son
- Draw Your Children Into the Bible
- Fathers who interact with children plant life-changing seeds
- Work and Family: The Ongoing Tug-Of-War
- Discipline: A Pendulum Swing
- Building Relationships with Your Stepchildren.
- Fatherhood isn't for Sissies
Terminated
No, Arnold Schwarzenegger didn't walk into my cubicle, red eye blazing and a metallic hand clawing, to ask if I was related to Sarah Conner. It was my boss, coming to talk about the current project he and I were working on. The company was coming up on a deadline for the project. Try as I might, I just could not get my part of it to take off. Parts of it would just fall in place. Other parts would struggle to even partially mesh. It all worked, but not as well as it might have. My boss wanted to transition me off the project onto something more in line with my talents.
Unfortunately, there was no such project. The programming language I am best with is not nearly as popular as it used to be (and no, my best language was not the language of the problem project). We hadn't seen much work in it from our clients in over a year. That meant an effective termination which is now official.
My first thought was for my family. My wife and I have a 16-month-old boy and another on the way. How will I take care of them while out of work? Our savings can only last so long. Where will I find work? The job market isn't good right now. How could I have let this happen?
Many of you have been there. Others of you will have the displeasure of being there. Know that the grief you feel is normal. As men, rightly or wrongly, we define who we are by what we do. You and I have now lost a major part of our identity. Who we are isn't as clear as it used to be. Expect to go through the five stages of grief, just as I am right now.
- Denial. This isn't happening.
- Anger. They'll be sorry they let me go!
- Bargaining. I'll do anything to get my job back.
- Depression. Dear God, why and why me?
- Acceptance. I will overcome. I will start over. I will not let this stop me.
Not everyone goes through these stages linearly. The stages don't last the same amount of time. Just because you've finished anger once doesn't mean it won't come back. In other words, I can't tell you when to expect anything only what to expect at sometime.
What can you do? Friends are a good start. At least one church in Iowa offers a small group for those who are unemployed, underemployed, or just tired of their job situation. Maybe a church near you offers something similar. Even though it isn't easy, you have to look at your job loss as an opportunity to begin again and not a disaster of apocalyptic proportions. This isn't Armageddon. It's just a time out of work.
While job searching, you'll have some time freed up that you would otherwise have spent working. Take advantage of this time. Start that work out routine you've been putting off. Get some more rest that you need. Very importantly, spend time with your family and recenter in God. This time out of work doesn't have to kill your spirit. Use this time to feed your spirit. You can see it as an opportunity to pursue your dreams. Yes, you and your family need income, but you can serve them better than you ever did before. You can find a job you love instead of just something you do.